11/1/13

waiting game

every time the phone rings, I think, pray, and hope it's them. My stomach turns into knots & my heart skips a beat. They are calling to tell me we have a match. A birth mom has chosen us. US!

We've officially only been on the wait list for 2 weeks now. & friends, it's hard. It's hard when everyone around you is pregnant with a specific date of knowing when they will see their child face to face. It's hard when other adoptive families you know are getting placed or had placements happen in 3 days of waiting. It's hard when you realllly just want your baby already. It's hard waiting. I don't mean to sound like a impatient brat, I'm well aware that some families have been waiting YEARS for a placement. & I promise the families that I know of, I've been praying for because waiting a year sounds m.i.s.e.r.a.b.l.e.

But, I decided something yesterday. Well really, the Lord convicted me of something yesterday while watching C play. C is here now. Husband is here now. And instead of letting my mind become consumed with when we will be matched & when our second son will enter our home, I'm going to try (key word: try) to be content with where the Lord has me now. C is still so small. Just barely a year & everything he does is my absolute favorite. Instead of letting my mind wonder into the unknown and uncertainties of adoption, I want to keep it focused on the here and now and be content.




Contentment is probably the number one thing, I think, woman struggle with. We always want the next chapter of life, the next event, etc. At least I struggle with it majorly, if I'm being honest. Which I am. So starting today, every time I start thinking about our adoption process and when I'll receive that phone call, I want to make it a habit to stop, pray, and ask the Lord to keep me focused on the here and now.

It's okay to desire something (obviously not if it's a sinful desire). It's not okay to let the sinless desire become an idol, because then it becomes sinful.

  I might be in for the long haul as far as being on the wait list goes. I don't want to spend the next weeks, months, or (hopefully not) years living in discontentment. I want to be able to look back at the time of waiting as a time I soaked in being a family of three & trusting in the Lord's will.

I'm reallllllly going to try. And by God's grace & strength, I can be victorious.

Anybody out there struggle with discontentment like me? Let Jesus have it.

10 comments:

Kate Kubler said...

Girl, trust me, we all struggle with it. When we get to one chapter in life, we are already wanting the next one. I definitely needed to hear this myself. Praying for you and hang in there!

Kate Kubler said...

I'm right there with you! Your blogpost helped me in many, many ways! I often feel depressed about my current chapter of life. I'm so so ready to move on to starting a family, but it's not the right time. Thank you for sharing your heart and helping others with the same struggle! I need to live in the NOW and focus on what God has given me NOW! From one Katie to another, I'm praying for your family and thank you so much for being a witness.

Kate Kubler said...

GIRL YES! I can totally relate. God in His divine plan, gave me the sweetest husband that makes slow, methodical decisions. As hard as it is for me to slow down and rest, to wait, I know that God is teaching me so much through it. Isn't it great that He is so patient with us in our impatience?!


Praying praying praying though that the call comes soon. XO

Kate Kubler said...

You are very luck to have C. Although it could be years before your next, he is there and growing minute by minute. Don't miss it!! I am sure the Lord has a beautiful plan and lesson for you.

Kate Kubler said...

My husband and I are about to start the adoption process. I hope and pray all goes well. I am new to ti all so I can't say I know how you feel. But I do know how it feels to wait and want.
Jen

Kate Kubler said...

Thank you for your prayers! And congrats on starting the process! If you ever have questions, ask away!

Kate Kubler said...

thanks for the encouragement friend!

Kate Kubler said...

seriously, thank you so much for your prayers.

Kate Kubler said...

THANK YOU for your encouraging words! praying for you Katie!!

Kate Kubler said...

Not problem.